"The Office" Episode Review - 501

The Office

Episode 5.01 - "Weight Loss"

Top 10 favorite moments of the Season 5 premiere:

With the new (limited time?) hour-long format, there were so many classic moments packed in. Here are my top ten.

10. The obesity speech.

Michael to Angela: "If you gain weight, you will die."
Michael, continued: "I'm asking each of you to lose five pounds. That, plus Jim's 65, gives us a very good chance of winning this thing." What does Jim weigh? Probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 165.

9. Oscar & Holly's gay/lesbians exchange.

Oscar's great. "What's the joke?" "Oh, you think it's a choice."

8. Andy.

"Every little boy fantasizes about his fairy tale wedding."
"That's where my parents decided NOT to get divorced."
"I'll marry you in the eye of a hurricane, in the middle of a snowstorm, on the top of a monsoon."

7. Michael didn't have sex for 28 years...and then again for seven years.

Hmm...sounds almost like a character from another movie...

6. Dwight tricking Phyllis.

Not so much that he pushed her out of the car and made her walk five miles, but that he first bargained for a 60-40 commission split on his fake "two-man job, sure-fire sale."

5. Jim & Michael's "Holly's butt" exchange in/near restroom.

What has Michael learned about Holly? Among other things, that "her but refuuuses to quit!"

4. Holly learning Kevin is in fact NOT retarded.

"But...Dwight...said..."

3. The first weigh in.

From Dwight distributing last minute eclairs (telling none other than his "monkey" to "Hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow") to Kevin thinking Pam weighs 226 lbs. "Math is haaard." "Yeah."

2. Jim's proposal!

Total squee!! moment! I honestly didn't see that coming. I took Jim on his word that they weren't getting engaged for at least three months! I guess we were supposed to be just as unassuming as Pam.

1. Wet, smiling Jim. :D

Need I say more?

Honorable Mention:

Toby in Costa Rica...in a hospital...in a full head/neck brace...watching Entourage...in Spanish! (And what was with the creepy on-looker in the next bed?)

Top 10 most awkward moments of the Season 5 premiere:

As if Toby’s hand on Pam’s leg in last season’s penultimate episode wasn’t awkward enough…these moments from this season’s opener put it to shame!

10. Michael giving Jim condoms.

Reason: "I don't want you to end up with a surprise pregnancy, like me."

9. The goatees.

Now you see them, now you don't. "We are the goatee-less brothers." Cut to Dwight's scraggly-looking facial hair.

8. Michael leaning in to kiss Pam goodbye.

It was awkward the first time. Still is.

7. Andy's "Ange-ella" theme set to Rhianna's "Umbrella".

Only annoying Andy of the whole episode.

6. Dwight and the bug spray.

Did I miss something? What was his goal?

5. Dwight obliterating Stanley's birthday cheesecake.

You can see the other actors trying their hardest not to crack.

4. Michael ripping up Holly's tickets like a bully.

Michael’s entire non-pursuit of Holly was uncomfortable to watch, but this was the most cringe-worthy moment of them all.

3. Holly & Michael rapping.

"Wicka wicka wicka wha?" is right.

2. Michael Klump.

If Michael Scott makes people feel uneasy during his usual "motivational speeches", how does his "making fun of fat people character" make people feel?

1. Ryan returning...as receptionist.

Aside from the priceless "I don't need a judge to tell me to keep my community clean" moment with Jim, he was bland, uninteresting, and forgettable as usual.